Friends are the Famly you Choose
by bhawksgirl
Summary: AU story of Blue on Blue.  What if the team didn't get out of the room in time before the explosion.  A team fic with a lot of wump and angst!
1. Chapter 1

Authors notes: this is an AU of the episode Blue on Blue. Not sure yet if I might turn it into a death fic…I don't know. But if I do or I don't it's still gonna be an angsty story!

Disclamer: wish I did, but I don't own flashpoint

**_flashpoint_**

Spike stared at the screen that held the four dots…the four dots that represented four of the greatest friends he's ever had. His heart is racing and he can barely breathe as he's listening to David telling the two scumbags when to push button.

"NO! NO! NO DON'T DO IT! I CAN FIX IT! PLEASE NO!"

"One more second…NOW!"

BOOM

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spike yells as the world around him stands still. There's a thousand different thoughts running through his head. All the memories he's shared with Ed, Jules, Sam and Raf. All the close calls and bonding like a family. _'oh my God, I've killed my family'_ he thinks to himself. Everyone around him dies. He couldn't save his best friend after he stepped on a freakin landmine and now his other four friends, scratch that his other brothers and sister are now dead from the very devices that he was suppose to specialize in.

**_flashpoint_**

Team one was making their way through room when Sam stopped. All his years over in that desert just gave him this sixth sense that's help keep him alive so far. He could sense it, smell it.

"Ed" says Sam as he taps his nose.

"TAR!"

"C-4!"

"Go Go Go"

Sam stays in the rear making sure his teams safe, that Jules is safe. It all happens in the matters of seconds, but to Sam's trained brain he processes it all slowly. Jules is just about at the door, Ed pushing her through. Himself and Raf are just a few feet behind them when the whole room erupts on itself and they all know no more.

**_flashpoint_**

Greg's in the control center when he hears his team shouting in distress. It's moments like these that tear him up inside. Negotiating is his thing, he knows how to do it well, at least he hopes he does it well. But the moments where he is separated from his team and can't be right next to them and help, is one of the worst feelings.

That he can't see what happened or if they are ok; that all he can do for the moment is talk to himself and hope that the others are ok. That he will hear the words 'no harm.'

Then he hears an explosion in his ear almost making him go deaf in that ear. He feels the ground under him shake, and somewhere deep inside of him he knows this time he won't be hearing those words.

_Du du dunnnnn. So what did yah think? Who lives, who dies, stay tuned! And review_


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for grammar errors..finishing this at 2 am._

_All right strap yourselves in! Here we go….._

The dust and debris started to settle when Jules begins to wake up. Everything sounds like she's underwater, muffled and hard to hear. She blinks a few times and starts to try and sit up and that's when a radiating pain shoots out from her wrist. A pained sob breaks out of her mouth and that's when she hears someone's voice in her ear.

"Team one! Jules! Jules is that you?" It's the boss and she can tell he's scared. To some other stranger he would probably sound cool and collected, but she knew otherwise.

"Yah sarg it's me."

"Oh thank God, are you ok sweetheart?"

"Yah I think so…I think my wrist is broken, but other than that I'm just really sore." Jules starts to rattle off as she scans the disheveled room, heart pounding out of her chest.

Greg feels he can breathe a tiny bit easier now that one of them is ok. "Jules what about the rest of them?" He waits dreading what he might hear.

"Ed?" Questions Jules as the body next to her starts to move. Eddie slowly sits up as he gets his bearings and the ringing finally stops. "Hey Ed are you ok?" She asks as she watches him grab is bleeding arm. The fabric of his shirt is cut from his shoulder almost to his elbow.

"Yah, yah I'm good. Boss I'm good." Ed tries his best to say in a reassuring voice, he knows how worried Greg is.

Greg closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. _'uuhh oookkk.' _"Sam! Raf!" "Come on speak to me guys!" Silence, and just like that noose around his chest tightens again with worry. "Eddie! Find em!"

"On it boss!"

Jules and Ed split up calling out their missing teammate's names, pulling up the debris.

"SAM!" Shouts Jules as she stumbles over to her secret love. Lifting up the piece of shelving that was lying on top of him makes her gasp and stand frozen. "Sam" she chokes out.

Both Greg and Ed are asking how he is, but she can't bring herself to bend down and feel for a pulse. He looked dead to her. With the dust on his face that made him look ghostly pale, it was a weird oxymoron on how he looked dry with the dust yet wet from all the blood.

"Uh I don't know…my God boss he's burnt really bad." She sobs out.

"Jules, Jules listen to me ok. I need you to see if Sam is alright? Ok? I need you right now…Sam needs you right now." Greg uses his fatherly voice to soothe and calm her down.

"Yah, Yah ok…" she finally bent down felt a pulse "he's still alive," the words got caught up in her throat.

Greg continued pacing back and forth while he did that nodding head and pursing his lips thing he does when he was stressed and trying to concentrate. "Ok good, good job, Jules how bad…what are his injuries?" While he waited for Jules to respond a thought came to him, he hadn't heard anything from Ed.

"Ed" silence "Eddie?" "Eddie come on ma—" but before he could finish he was cut off, but it was by the quietest voice he ever heard the sniper use.

"Greg he's gone…Raf is gone."

Parker immediately stopped is pacing. _'No, no no no this can't happen, this can't be true. He couldn't lose another member of his team. Especially so soon after…after Lou.' _

"What? NO check again." Says Jules as she's about to march over there.

"Jules! Stop it. He's gone, just look after Sam." Ed knew she was already on edge and ready to snap any minute now. And if she saw Raf, the way he wasn't Raf anymore, than she would surely lose it. He stood there fists clenched, no longer feeling any pain…just numb.

"Ed…" Greg knew where his best friend was going and he had to try and steer him back down to earth. "Alright Eddie I hear yah. Just go help Jules out with Sam, ok buddy? Sam needs you."

After a few choice words he screamed over and over in his head and swearing to hunt down the sons of bitches that did this, Ed started to climb his way over to Sam and Jules.

"Jesus" he said once he got a look at the poor kid. "Greg EMS needs to be here now!"

"I hear yah Eddie. They're almost here. What is it? How bad?" Parker felt like he was about ready to have a nervous breakdown. He didn't want to feel loss again…ever again. But as quickly as those thoughts entered his mind, he pushed them back and knew he had a team—a family counting on him.

"His pulse is weak and fast. Wheezing breath sounds." Ed rubbed his bald head out of stress…good God. "He's got burns on a good majority of his body. Greg, it's not good."

Park kicks over a chair, but quickly reigns himself in. "Ok, ok I hear yah buddy. Alright I just got word EMS and fire are pulling up now. And I'm on my way."

"Negative boss. You need to stay a command and get officers out there to get the scumbags. And we still need to rescue Spike. You stay on top of that and I can take care of things on this end."

"Alright Eddie, you take care of our people for me. Got it?"

"Copy that!"

"Jules," Ed taps her to pull her back from zoning out as she caressed Sam's hair. "Jules, EMS is coming in. I need you to start clearing this debris out so we can make room for them to get in here. Ok?" He needs to keep her busy and giving her a task that will allow her to help out in a real way is the best thing right now.

"Yah…Ok…"

Ed watches her grimace through the pain cause by her wrist, and he knows it isn't a good idea physically—but right now it's the only thing saving her mentally. "Ok Sammy, buddy. You need to make it through this. I know your tough, and if you don't I'm really scared what's gonna happen to the rest of us. Don't worry, we got you buddy…"

_flashpoint_

_Okay okay I know I killed of Raf. Please don't hate me. I'll explain my reason for doing it..one it's just a copout and easier to write less people…it was getting to intense. And two I haven't seen too many of the episode where Raf is in them so I don't feel I have a real grasp of his character yet. _

_And yes Spike will defiantly make an appearance in the next chapter…I just have to figure out how they are going to rescue him now. So if there any ideas out there I'm open!_

_But yah tell me what you guys think of it! ;) Reviews make the hands type faster! and again I'm sorry about Raf :'(_


	3. Chapter 3

_OH MAN 2 CHAPTERS IN 1 DAY! (and actually that's 5 chapter in almost 3 days between this and my other flashpoint story) I think that dissevers some loves in review form ;)_

_Ok to reassure everyone…no Sam will not die in this fic (but that doesn't mean I won't put him through hell). We just have a love/hurt relationship…the more I love him the more I like to see him hurt. I know it's crazy but I can't help myself :D_

**_flashpoint_**

Ed looks down as he starts to see a slight movement from below him. Sam starts making tiny movements in order to see if he can ease the greatest pain he's ever experienced. _{movements that remind me of right after Sam jumped on the concussion grenade.}_ But some are involuntary as the open wounds send a shock to his system and the muscles begin to twitch.

"Sam? Hey buddy, it's ok…you're ok." Ed says as comforting as he can, while his 'calm' eyes looked into Sams. He's trying to get Sam to focus but all he see's is pure terror and agony in the baby blues attempting to scan the room.

"E…Ed….how….ar….are…..the…oth….others?" Sam gasps out through broken breaths. Ed's doing his best to keep calm, that's what Sam needs—that he knows someone is in control and taking care of everything.

"We're ok. Everyone's ok. You did good on warning us buddy. It was really good, you realized it in time." Ed doesn't have the heart to tell him about Raf, and right now Sam was too fragile to deal with losing a teammate.

"Go..good…" Sam's breathing starts to become more desperate and the spasms start to become worse.

"Sam?"

"C…co…cold. 'm….so…co….cld." Sam's starting to lose it.

"Hey, hey. Look at me. Sam your going into shock, you need to try and calm yourself ok? I know it hurts but the medics will be here any minute now, but you have hold on and fight!" Ed wouldn't normally be this forward with someone in Sams condition, but he knows they've all been through the emergency medical training and both know what's going on.

"Yah….min…..mind….over….mat….matter…ri…right."

"Yah that's it." Smirks Ed, "now just stop talking and save your strength wise-ass."

"ahah…aaaahhh…oooowwww….st….stop...trying…..to…be….fun…ney…you….on…..only….hurt….peo…ple…..when…ya…d…do…that."

Ed actually gets a good laugh from that and is about to show the kid how to really make fun of someone when Jules comes rushing over.

Jules had been so lost in her world that the first time she notice Sam awake was now. Having cleared a decent size area away, she runs over to him.

"SAM!"

"Jul….Jules…." Sam moves his eyes around trying to find where that angels' voice came from until she slides up next to him.

"Sam," she whispers "hey sam…." he tries to talk to her but she just hushes him. "Sshh, hey is ok. You're gonna be fine. Alright?"

"Hey!" A stranger outside the door shouts.

"In here!" Ed says as he makes his way over to the medics just entering the room.

"What do we have?"

Ed is just starting to tell the medics that he and Jules were basically fine when she start screaming Sam's name. "Sam! Please wake up! Come on."

"Take her. Take her out first!"

"No Ed I need to stay with him," she pleads tears streaming down her cheek.

"Hey Jules…Jules. That's an order; the medics need to concentrate on helping Sam now ok?" She stands there torn between following an order and following her heart. "You need to do this ok; you'll see him at the hospital." She nods and with that one of the EMTs leads her out.

"So what do we have?" He asks again as he kneels down with his bag next to Sam.

"We, uh got caught in an explosion. One of my guys…on the other side of the room..he…" Ed clears his throat, "he didn't make it."

The medic just nodded with sad eyes to one his co-workers to go over and check it out. "And him, what's his name?"

"It's Sam. He was conscious for a few minutes but he was having trouble breathing and shaking pretty bad."

"Ok don't worry we're gonna take great care of him. Jim I need the backboard, not much we can do for him at this time except try to keep him stable." Looking over to Ed, "what about you? You gonna ride with him?" Ed looks down at Sam and as much as he wants to be there with him, he needs to stay with Raf. Raf didn't deserve to be alone with strangers.

"No I'll stay here with him." he nods to the other side of the room.

"Sir you're hurt- you need to get checked out."

"No! I'm not leaving him! Besides it's nothing a few stitches can't handle."

"Ok. Ok." The medic bent back down to help get Sam ready to go. "I've already called in ahead. He's got burns on about 40% of his body, thready pulse, shock." He stops and gets closer to the other medic so Ed wouldn't hear. "Decreased and wheezing breath sounds; I think his lungs might be burnt."

"Damn it. Alright let's scoop and run."

"Where are you taking them?"

"St. Michael's."

"Alright," before they wheel Sam out he finds a part of his body not blistered and lays his hand there. "Just hold on buddy." With that Ed makes his way over to sit with Raf, as he holds back the water that tries to break free from his eyes.

**_flashpoint_**

Spike just sits there stunned; unable to grasp that this really just happened. _'No, what the hell did I do? I tried…I'm sorry, I'm sorry you guys. I let you down, I failed you.'_ As he's whispering silent prayers for his friends he hears Natalie sobbing, and for the first time he is kind of glad she has the duck tape over her mouth. Because he didn't think he could handle her uncontrolled bawling. _'I've killed her brother right in front of her.'_

He then hears David congratulate the guys on escaping the evidence depot. _'Shit now Nat and I are dead. They don't have any use for us. Think. Think. Think.'_ It wasn't that he was scared for himself, but worried about getting Natalie out of there in one piece.

David started to raise the gun at spike and tie up all his loose ends when spikes blurts out.

"Wait! Wait! You still need us."

"And why is that?"

"With all that just happened the city is going to be in lockdown—checkpoints everywhere. You'll need me to help you get around them…which streets you need to take. And if you get caught you've got hostages to use." Spike was rambling it all out so fast, and honestly it didn't make much sense. But if he could convince them to keep them alive a little bit longer he could hopefully buy themselves more time till help found them.

It was a thought that David was considering until his business partner started yelling at him otherwise. The two were going back and forth with the shouting match. That's when Alban walked over to Natalie ready to shoot her when a gun went off and they all jumped.

There laid Alban on the floor with a bullet to his head. He and Natalie looked over at David confused. When he muttered to her, "if anyone gets to kill you it's me! I've earned that right for revenge."

Just then all hell broke loose—the doors were busted in and officers shouting "SRU SRU! DROP THE GUN!"

David pulled Spike up and had gun pointed at his head. That's when Greg walked up the stairs to join team 3 and got his first look at him. Parker tried to look him in the eyes but as soon as he did Spike immediately looked away in shame. Greg was confused by this. Why would Spike be like this, none if was his fault.

Greg thinks to himself that he can only deal with one issue at a time. First get Spike to safety, and then smack him upside the head for blaming himself.

"Alright now let's slow everything down." Greg started stepping forward with his hands raise ready to help Natalie up.

"Stop! Leave her, don't come any closer!"

"Ok, alright. We're just talking, that's all we have to do right now."

Negotiator and hostage taker danced with words around and around. Finally Spike brought his eyes up to Parkers and the two SRU officers spoke volumes between each other just with subtle movements and sayings. A skill one picks up after many years of working together.

Then with a final wink from Spike he puts his left foot slightly behind David's leg. That's when Greg starts to take a step forward. Leading David to try to get back, but instead gets tripped up on spikes foot.

In that split second David falls…the team rushes in…and a gunshot goes off.

_Please R and R! I REALLY want to know what all yah think. Also at this moment I don't know what I'm gonna do with Spike…is he ok…does he get shot…tell me what do you wanna see happen!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Ok so sorry about the whole chapter 3 fiasco. The website would show it then not show it, and then took down the whole story for awhile. __**SO IF YOU FORGOT TO READ CH. 3 HIT THE BACK BUTTON AND READ IT! ;)**__ It's a chapter I'm quite proud of lol._

_Enjoy!_

_**_flashpoint_**_

"SPIKE!" Greg shouts as he rushes over the crumpled mess of the two men. He sits him up and looks down at him seeing blood. That kicks him into overdrive. "Spike, you ok? Where yah hit?" Parker frantically is searching the other mans uniform trying to find the bleeding source.

"Nah boss I'm good, I'm good."

"Then…"

"Sir." A fellow officer gets their attention and they look down at David, the man who started it all. Some might call it karma and others luck, but he laid there covered in his blood with a hole to the heart.

Everyone just takes a second to soak in what had just transpired over a few hours and the man who tried to get away with destroying lives.

Greg then gets up while pulling Spike with him. As he is un-cuffing him Spike just snaps and goes to kick David's body screaming. "Yah happy! Was it worth killing yourself…killing my…my team?" Parker quickly just grasps him and pulls him into a tight embrace while Spike starts to sobs.

"Spike, hey Spike look at me. Listen to me. YOU are not responsible for this! They're not dead!"

He just stares back at Greg with big eyes and mouth open. "What? They got out?"

"Well," Parker sighed "Jules and Ed are fine and last I heard Sam was also on his way to the hospital." He tried dancing around different ways to try to handle this conversation, but nothing he said would make it right or turn back time.

"Raf?" Parker doesn't need to answer the question. Spike can see it the bosses' eyes. He feels like his heart is being torn in two. Part him wants to be happy that most of his team is ok, while the other part breaks over losing another friend for pointless reasons.

"Parker." One of the officers calls his attention. There standing next to him is Natalie on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Oooh Nat come here sweetie." He walks over and embracing the shaking girl.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry! I should have never come here. It's all my fault! Oh God Sam."

"Ssshh it's ok. He's gonna be fine. He's a fighter-you know that. But he's going need your strength to help him get better…he's gonna need all of us." He looked over to Spike and saw the eyes of a broken man. He knew once he got them to the hospital he would have to find a quite room and just sit Spike down to really have a chance at getting through to him.

Greg rounds them both up and escort them to the car and head over to the hospital. It was a quiet ride, each person using the time to be left alone with their thoughts.

**_flashpoint_**

Ed stepped his way out of the elevator headed over to the rest of team in the waiting room. He stayed with Raf all the way to the morgue in the basement of the hospital. Then he was forced to get the large gash in his arm stitched up in order to make his way to the surgical waiting area. Everyone was quiet and tense, on edge till they got word on Sam.

Greg walked over and met Ed halfway. "Boss any word yet?"

"No, not yet. Just that he went up for surgery about an hour ago. They said they called in the best burn specialist." Greg said as he shifted back and forth on his feet nervously. "Eddie you saw him last…how did he look?"

He just shook his head, "not good." Scanning the room he see's Jules and Natalie leaning on each other and Jules' arm already in cast. With that he just walks over to Spike who has his elbows on his knees and head buried in his hands. Sitting down next to him Ed just stares at him for a second before putting his arm around him. Right now words would fall on deaf ears and the only support he could offer was a human touch.

For the next five hours the team paced the floor and played musical chairs, none being able to sit still for very long. Then the revolving door was pushed open and a weary doctor headed over to them. It didn't take a genius to tell which patient they were waiting for news on.

"Doctor…how is he?" Greg asks as the SRU family gathered up.

Sighing the doctor pulled up a seat for himself, "why don't you all sit down."

**_flashpoint_**

_Ok what did you think? Short i know-it just seemed like a good stopping point. I still felt there was something missing from Spikes scenes, but just couldn't get anything to flow right. Still plenty more hurt and angsty-ness to go. _


	5. Chapter 5

"Let me just clear the air with he's alive." Doctor Malloy knows that those two words are all anyone is worried about. And it was obvious by seeing the shoulders slouch a little and some tension lines ease in the weary people in front of him.

"We've cleaned and wrapped the skin; we were also able to apply skin grafts for the worst burns. From looking at the wounds the explosion was on his right side since that's where most of the injuries reside. The one piece of good news is that a good majority are only second degree and not third like we first feared. As long as they stay clean and he doesn't develop any complications he should heal fine with only scars and maybe loss of sensation."

The doctor paused and gave his patients friends and family sometime to digest what he just told them.

"The thing I'm most worried about is his lungs. You see when the explosion occurred the heat and chemicals made their way down his esophagus and lungs, damaging them. And unlike the skin we cannot clean them out what he breathed in from the air in that room. So not only does he have to deal with burns, but also the foreign bodies that have now infected damaged tissue. His O2 stats are low despite being on oxygen and there is a pretty good possibility of developing an infection."

There, he said it. Even after years and years of this he still found it hard to tell people what they didn't want to hear. But people needed to be prepared (not the gory specifics-but enough), that way they could take time to come to terms with things in cause the worst should happen.

Then the slightly bald man spoke up, his voice was short but calm. "When can we see him?"

"Once he is out of recovery he will be moved to our burn ward on the sixth floor. If you want to wait up there then a nurse will let you know when you can visit him. They will probably allow you all to see him for a few minutes two at time, then I would suggest you all go home and get some rest. He won't know you're here…he's on so much pain medication that he won't be awake for at least the first day."

Malloy looked around at the faces in front of him. Most had a stern appearance but presented subconscious expression of fear and stress. The pressed lips, nodding head, and biting the inside of the cheek, it wasn't anything new to him. Back in his younger years in order to pay for med school he enlisted and was an army medic…he'd seen their type before.

"Listen, I've seen guys like Sam before…he's a fighter. I can tell. He's fought very hard to make it this far. And honestly that's half the battle, having the will to live. Plus he is young and in excellent shape. If you have any questions just let the nurses know and they will page me."

As he made his way down the hallway two of the men stopped him. He looked at the names on the shirt, Lane and Parker.

"Yes?"

"Doc what kind of stuff should we be in for?"

"Sirs, I really don't…" he tried to finish but was interrupted the completely bald man.

"Listen doc. It's our job to know all the details about a situation; we like to be prepared for any outcome." Then his tone became slightly softer, "he's one of my guys and I lead them into that room. I want to know the full story and what's going on with him."

"Very well. We have him on fluids, antibiotics, morphine and oxygen. Complications that can occur in burn victims especially with chemicals are that even if originally the burn didn't reach it, it can eventually spread and destroy tissue and blood vessels resulting and organ failure, respiratory distress and amputation. But I assure you that he will get the very best care."

"Yes thank you, we are sure he will. What about…what about after this? Will he be able to come back to work?"

'_ah, yes I knew this question would come up at some time, it always does.'_ Malloy thought to himself.

"Even in the best case scenario I would say no." The one with Lane on his shirt shifted back and forth on his feet while crossing his arms. _'He's becoming defensive—not wanting to hear the truth.'_

"The reason is that if by a miracle Sam has no complications and no loss of sensations, the damage to his lungs is permanent. He won't be able to perform physical activity the way he was used too. His body won't be able to use oxygen effectively, he'll become winded easily, dizzy and tired. I am honestly truly sorry."

"Yah, thank you doctor," said Parker. And with that he left the men.

"Boss…"

"Ed just chill for a second."

"No boss I've seen what happens to guys like Sam when they can't do the job anymore. He's been ingrained from his father to be 'a mans man,' and when they can't be that anymore they can't cope…"

"Buddy I know. But all we can do right now is help him get through it one day at a time."

"Hey boss, Ed? You ready, we're gonna head upstairs to see Sam." Questioned Jules.

**_flashpoint_**

_Sam just had this sensation of drifting and he was confused by it. He felt like he should be remembering something…something important. _

'_Good lord why does if like the world's largest man is sitting on my chest.' _

. . . .

_Then he was starting to hear bits and pieces of voices. It was a woman's voice and she was crying, but why. _

'_Uugghh what is she saying…' he tried to focus more but it was just too damn exhausting. Then he heard 'I'm sorry Sam.' He knew that voice, it was Natalie. That broke his heart to hear his baby sister upset._

'_Natalie please don't cry. Once I figure out what's going on here I'll fix it, I promise…please don't cry…'_

**_flashpoint_**

As Jules stood at the foot of his bed she wanted to cry looking at the scene in front of her. Natalie sat at Sam's bedside holding his hand crying out to him. She knew she had to start reigning in her emotions. After today they we're all going to be under psych evaluation and she couldn't afford to show how much all this wanted to break her.

But standing there, looking at her gets her to really contemplate some things. She really truly loves this man and what if she never got another chance to be with him. There was always that risk that when they left that morning one of them might not come back. But seeing the evidence laying it the hospital bed had her thinking. Yes they were keeping their relationship a secret in order to stay on the team. And she use to be ok with that, but what if she wanted to marry him…to have children with him. It wouldn't be possible. They can't keep their lives on hold because of the job…no one is guaranteed a future, no one knows how many days they're given. So why were they waiting.

**_flashpoint_**

Greg walked up to the hard plastic hospital chair Spike had resided in since they made their way up to the burn floor. "Hey Spike do you wanna go in next?"

"No…uh…I mean I don't think I can face him."

"Why don't you tell me what happened."

The two men sat there as Spike debriefed Parker on everything from Natalie's phone call to when Greg and team 3 showed up.

Afterwards he raises his eyes to the boss ashamed as he sat there and said nothing. _'There now he knows it's my fault and doesn't want to deal with me.'_

"So you think it's your fault…what I heard is that you helped out your teammates sister, held hostage, forced to commit a crime under duress all while trying some way to get help."

Spike just keeps his head down.

"Listen you are one the most funny, thoughtful, and loyal people I know. I don't think you could even try to do wrong to someone. You were forced into this, none of us blame you…Sam won't blame you." Greg just signed, "truth be told we're all worried about you as well. You know we are going to have another psych eval after all of this settles down correct?"

"Yes."

"Well we're all worried with how you've been taking this, that it might compromise your chances of staying on the team."

"I would probably be for the best if I wasn't."

"What!"

"Boss…I feel like I'm cursed. The people I care about the most keep dying."

"Oh Spike." Said Greg softly.

"When Lou died it was because I told him to look at the bomb, and now Raf is dead and Sam's in other room fighting for his life cause I couldn't get myself out of a situation."

"You didn't plant the bombs with either of those nor did you push any detonator."

"But it's my job to stop them, you guys count on me to do that."

Parker just sits there for a second, "well then, do feel it's my fault when I can't talk down a subject and people die because of it?"

"Of course not boss."

"Then why should it be any different with you then? You see we all have our strengths, but sometimes we can't fix and stop all the world's problems cause guess what Spike…we're human."

He watches as Spike starts to come to this realization. That his eyes finally don't seem like they are look past everything or through people.

The sarg was right. He would never blame one of his teammates for losing a situation. He knew they tried their hardest, just sometimes things were already too far in motion that anything they did wouldn't stop it.

"Spike?"

"Yah boss I get it." He gives Parker one of his signature Spike grins.

"Alright then, how about we go say hi to Sam?"

"Ok."

**_flashpoint_**

Spike waited for Greg to walk into the room first. And it took him a good while to finally make his way from just standing inside the door way to actually make his over to the bed. He scanned Sam head to toe, not that he saw much of him. He laid there covered in white bandages and IVs sticking out in the rare areas not covered by not covered by them. Watching him desperately trying to pull oxygen from the mask over his face.

'_Sam I'll make it up to you. I'll be here every step of the way…you won't face this alone.'_

_. . . . . ._

_Sorry about the delay. Had a case of writers block…but I did write the last chapter. So I finally know how It's going end. I just need to get from point A to point B successfully._

_Again please please review and let me know what you all think of it :) _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Authors note:**__ For those of you that also read my other story 'Ill get us through this' I will finish the story. I just needed to start to concentrate on one story at a time for now._

The next morning the team met up at the barn to finally debrief on the previous day's events. The air in the room was both somber and tense.

"And also. Raf's funeral is going to be in three days. His family has asked that myself, spike and Ed be among the Pallbearers." Greg received a chorus of 'yeses and anything they need.' "I talked with the Chief this morning and we have a two week break to take for ourselves." He paused not wanting to bring up the next part.

"After that time we will begin the process of looking for two permanent replacements."

"Wait…what?" Questioned Jules as the statement finally sunk in. Both Spike and she gave confused looks at Greg, then at Ed who didn't seem fazed by the statement.

"I understand one permanent replacement because of Raf…but shouldn't the second be a temporary spot. I mean Sam could still come back." Spike looked back and forth at the two men with pleading eyes, "right?"

"No, he won't," stated Ed as he looked down at his fumbling hands. "Greg and I spoke with his doctor…and there is just no way he'd be able to re-qualify again."

As Spike sat there, he pushed his hands back and forth through his hair. Till then he had been getting through this with that small piece of hope that Sam would one day make it back onto team one.

Jules sat there thinking about what all this meant. The thought selfishly came to her about how now Sam and her could finally be together. But never ever in a million years would she wish it to come about this way. But that was even if he still wanted to be with her, what if the fact of being around her would be too much of a reminder of what he could no longer do.

Greg decided to move the conversation in a different direction. "Moving on…I know we all want to be with Sam, but you all need time and space for yourselves to grieve and come to terms with everything. So go, be with your families, I'm guessing Natalie won't be leaving her brothers side anytime soon."

**_flashpoint_**

Greg walked into the room a few hours later, not at all surprised at all to find Jules sitting there. Sam was the only family she had here.

"Hey there," he whispered seeing Natalie sleeping on the couch on the other side of the room. "How's he doing?"

"The doctor said they cut back on the pain medication a little and he's showing signs of waking up.

. . . . . . . . . .

_The voices started to get louder and easier to hear. As more of his senses started to work he realized something was wrong. He had a dull ache from his head down to his toes…and it was getting worse. Add onto the fact that he felt stiff and hot just made him feel like shit._

_He started by wiggling his toes, then his fingers. Next was onto finally starting to open his eyes. While he started to pull up his heavy lidded eyes he wondered why after doing such little he felt like he just ran a marathon._

_. . . .  
><em>

"Sam? Hey Sam can you hear me?" Jules was immediately up grabbing his one good hand once she sees his eyes start to open. "Hey, there are those baby blues we've all missed." The commotion had Natalie sitting up.

"I'll go get the doctor." Said Greg.

"Sam?" Jules stepped aside allowing Natalie to come up to Sam. She stood there patting his head while whispering encouraging words.

After a minute or two Greg came back in with Dr. Malloy. "Well, hello there Sam! You don't know me yet but I've gotten to know you pretty well, I'll be your physician while you spend your time here."

Sam's eyes were scanning the room, trying to remember what happened. He tried to talk and ask questions but couldn't find his voice right away. Then very slowly he tried to raise his hand to move the oxygen mask, but Malloy stopped him.

"Ah ah. I know you're a little confused and the mask feels funny, but you really need it so that stays on till I tell you. Alright?"

Sam gives a slight nod. Afterwards starts to mouth words that no one can understand.

Malloy bends down over his patient and puts his ear to his face. "What happened? Well do you remember an explosion?" Sam closes his eyes to try to clear the cobwebs of his brain a figure out what did actually happen. Then things started to come back to him in flashes…entering the room and seeing the C-4. But that was it, thinking of all the things that could have happened to his team started to bring panic. He immediately opened his eyes looking around and only seeing Jules and the sarg. The annoying beeping sound was becoming faster and his chest was getting tighter. _'where were the others, what if, what if they're dead…'_

Seeing that Sam was starting to panic, Jules went over to him. She leaned over his face, so he just looked straight into her eyes. "Sam, look at me alright. Its ok…" Staring deep into her eyes calmed him down slightly. "Now if you want to know what's going on you have to take it easy ok? Or they're just going to give you more drugs and knock you out again, and I know you don't want that right?"

He nodded and took as steady of a breath as he could.

Even in the tense situation Greg had to give a little smirk at the love birds in front of him. The way the team could communicate without saying anything was put to shame by the way each of them fed of the others energy.

"Listen Ed and I are completely fine…alright." After a nod she gave him a look to slightly prepare him for the next part. "…But Raf's gone …"

Sam quickly closed his eyes and fists and tried to calm his breathing.

Jules went to her next tactic and waved over Natalie. "Sam…hey look at me. Natalie's here alright."

He opened his them and looked for her with soft eyes. That's right he remembered there was something up with her…and he remembered hearing her crying. Then Natalie replaced Jules looking over him. He raised his hand to the bruise on her check looking confused.

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Hey Sammy…It's alright, I'm ok. You don't have to worry, Spike took care of me."

Greg stepped forward, "I called him already. He's on his way over."

Sam nodded; he needed to thank the big geek. Finally he looked over himself for the first time, now that he felt he had a little more of a handle on what was going on. Scanning his body he had seen plenty of soldiers turn into mummies after IED explosions.

As much as he dreaded the answer he knew he needed to ask it. "What about me?"

**_flashpoint_**

A knock at the door woke Spike up from his intermittent sleep. He dreaded the thought of why someone would be knocking at his door while he walked across the house.

"Wordy! Hey man what are doing here?" Spike was so excited. He missed seeing the man around at work every day.

"Hey buddy!" Wordy pulled Spike in for a hug. "Uh Parker called me and told me what happened yesterday."

"Yah, it was…it was a lot." Spike said as he looked down.

Wordy patted him on the back and then put down some DVD's on the counter. "Hey so I picked up some movies and thought we could just hang out here for awhile and then go visit Sam after some dinner. How does that sound?" He kept his voice light and upbeat. Greg had told him everything that happened including the fact that Spike was carrying guilt about it. So he figured he would use his Wordy charm to help his best friend get out of the funk.

Spike knew what he was doing and appreciated it. The fact was that even though family tries to be supportive and understand what they go through, they never could. The only ones that could ever understand were fellow 'brother and sisters'.

"Sure buddy, what do you got?"

The two men were half way through the newest comedy. They didn't laugh as much as they probably would have under different circumstances, but they got a few good chuckles. He looked over to Wordy about to thank him for helping to cheer him up when this phone started ringing.

Immediately the mode in the room changed. Spikes stomach tightened when he saw that Greg was calling him. "Yah boss?" He answered hesitantly fearing the worst. "Really? Ok, yah. Yes Wordy is with me. Alright see you shortly."

Spiked looked over, "Sam's awake."

_I know a shortish chapter and not too much happened here. But I felt I needed to post something soon. And I just needed to get this filler stuff out of the way. But now Sam's awake. So how is he going to be hearing he can't work anymore? And how's Spike going to help him?_

_Writing this chapter sucked. I felt like I was going 12 different ways in my head with it and I couldn't get it to flow the way I had envisioned. Please review…I need some encouraging words after pulling my hair out on this one. ahaha_


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Just wanted to thank all my reviewers and all you that have the story on alert!_

**_flashpoint_**

When Spike and Wordy made their way up to the burn floor they were surprised to see everyone waiting out in hallway.

"What's going on?"

"The doc asked us to leave, they're checking his bandages." Answered Greg.

"Well…how is he? Is he in pain…does he remember…does he know yet?" Spike was rattling off questions trying to displace the fear he had for his friend.

"Woah-woah, just settle down Spike. He seems to be holding his own physically at the moment. But yes he knows about what's going to happen once he gets out of here." Spike stared at him waiting for Greg to elaborate. "I saw Sam reacting to the news two different ways…one he would fight it and not listen to us or two…just give up and accept it. And unfortunately he's doing the latter." He answered disappointed.

"But isn't that good though? I mean that he's ok with it, that he won't live in denial?" Asked Natalie worried what could be worse than pretending everything would be fine.

Ed who showed up a little before Wordy and Spike stepped forward. "No, it's not. Guys like your brother know only the job, once that is taken away from them forever they no longer feel they will ever be themselves any more…never feel useful again. And the reason you've seen your brother as a strong fearless guy despite some bad situations is because he had hope, a purpose…a reason to fight. But now he's giving up, and mental health plays a major role in how the body heals."

Just then the doctor and nurse stepped out of his room, closing the door.

"How is he doing?"

"As well as can be expected. We've just cleaned and redressed the wounds. He has a slight fever, but that's to be expected after such a trauma to the body."

"Well can we go in and see him now?" Asked Spike eagerly.

"Actually…he's asked to not have any visitors at the moment. Just let him be alone with his thoughts for a while. Besides I just gave him his next dose of pain meds so he should be asleep within a half hour. Wait till then, and then I would say you can go sit with him."

**_flashpoint_**

Spike told everyone that he would take the next watch of sitting with Sam while the rest went home for the night. They had just had a team dinner and drinks and it felt nice to be out doing other things than sulking in his house. As he sat there next to him, he knew he couldn't give into the self loathing and guilty feelings he had about everything. Sam had enough to deal with and he didn't want to add his own misgivings about everything.

He sat there with a magazine he took from the waiting room, but never really read anything on the pages though, just lost in different thoughts. Now and then he would look up at Sam and make sure he was ok. The kid laid there completely still except for his overcompensating chest as he tried to breathe the best he could.

As the sun was setting Spiked looked up again, but this time he saw Sam's eyes open, just staring at the ceiling. Spike wondered how long he was like that. Putting the magazine down he scooted the chair forward.

"Hey there Samtastic!" Sam just tilted his head over to face Spike giving him a tiny smirk that quickly fell. "Listen…I…I just want to say that I'm really sorry." Raising his eyes to Sam's confused ones. "I lead you guys in that place…"

"Spike…you came to…my sisters' aid. I'm sorry you…got dragged into…her past. The only people to blame…are those men."

"I just needed to ask for your forgiveness."

"Well…as much as it's not…needed, I forgive you." '_God talking should be not be this strenuous.'_ "You need to…get those ideas…out of your head. I do not…hold you…responsible for this…got it?"

Spike saw how much pain Sam was in already and didn't want to keep adding to it by going in a roundabout conversation. "Copy that buddy," Spiked smirked. "Hey how bout I turn on some TV. Yeah?"

"Sure."

Spike would cautiously glance between the television and Sam. The man now had his head turned in the opposite direction of him and just stared off through half lidded eyes.

'_Oh Sam I wish I knew how to fix this…"_

**_flashpoint_**

It had been almost two week since the team's lives were flipped upside down. For the most part Natalie, Jules and Spike were the main visitors in the hospital. Greg had been in out spending his other time at the barn in meetings and interviews. And Ed had just returned from a short vacation up north with his family.

Now he and Spike were taking their shift in the dreary stale room while Jules and Natalie finally took a break and went out for a girls day.

"Hey there buddy! Long time no see eh?"

Just a short "hey Ed" was all he got as a response. He had been told that Sam was depressed and just sleeping all day. Granted during that time he had been trying to hold off his fever from getting worse, but Ed knew there was more to it.

"How ya holding up?"

"Fine." _cough_

Ed glanced over at Spike as he sat down on the other side of the bed. He just gave him a look of '_yah he's been stubborn like this the whole time.'_

A few hours later a nurse came in with a tray of food. "Alright Sam I've got your dinner here."

He just ignored her.

"Sam you listen to the nice nurse." Ed wasn't going to feed into his pity party. Everyone else's ways of getting him over this hadn't worked so Ed was going to try tough love.

"I'm not hungry!" _cough cough_

"Ma'am, you can leave it here. We'll make sure he eats it."

She just nodded, a little off put by all the testosterone rising in the room. She leaned over to Ed before she left, "do what you can, he's been fighting us on eating anything lately."

Then Ed finally spoke up after a few minutes of awkward silence. "Sam, I get it. I.."

"Understand. Ed you.." _cough cough_ "you can't understand."

"I get that this isn't you. The Sam I knew wouldn't roll over like a dog. He would stop feeling sorry for himself and working on getting better!"

"Ed, come on man." Spike knew what Ed was trying to do, but all he was doing was getting Sam worked up.

Ed just raised his hand to silence Spike. "No I think he's scared. Scared of having to move on with life in a different way!" He didn't want to hurt Sam's feelings, but they were running out of tactics of trying to get him to fight. If getting Sam to hate him was the only way to keep him not only alive in the hospital but also from becoming another statistic of ex-cop turning his gun on himself, then Ed was completely fine with it. He just hoped it wasn't going to back fire on him. "You know what I've seen! I've seen a team of people that care about you so much that they have been here for you day and night and all you do is blow them off!"

Sam reached up and removed the oxygen mask, "out!" _cough_ "I…want you…out!" _cough cough_

"Hey Ed, why don't we just step outside for a sec huh?" Suggested Spike after some of the machines in the room started to beep faster.

"No he needs to hear this. Feel that anger Sam, that's good. It's the first time I've seen you express some other emotion other than feeling sorry for yourself." If Ed knew Sam like he thought he did, then Sam would want to prove him wrong and show him up.

"What the hell is going on in here?" A very upset nurse came running either alerted by the machines or raised voices that something was wrong.

"It's alright, everything is under control." Stated Ed.

"I would think not. If you don't want to be permanently removed from the hospital I would suggest the both of you step out for a moment while I actually try to help my patient." The nurse said glaring at Ed while placing the mask back on Sam.

. . . . . . . .

"Ed what the hell man?"

"Spike…"

"No I get it, I get it, you're only trying to help. But screaming at the guy? I don't see how that's in his best interest."

"He's a soldier and not just one from when he joined up, but since birth because of his father. He's been taught not to show weakness or ask for help. To buck up and follow orders. So I thought that since all the other options we tried hadn't worked I would try using something he was use too. Granted in hindsight it didn't work exactly the way I planned though."

"Hey where are you going?" Spike asked Ed as he was walking toward the elevators.

"He's not going to want to listen to anything I have to say right now. I'll come back in the morning to apologize. You staying the night?"

"Yah. I told Jules to keep Natalie at her place; the girl hasn't slept in a real bed all week."

"Alright see you tomorrow."

**_flashpoint_**

The next morning, before the sun had even risen, Spike was startled awake by a coughing fit from Sam. He got up and made his way quickly across the room. Per the usual Spike would try to help Sam sit up and take a few sips of water. However, this time when Spike lifted the mask he saw that Sam's lips were blue and his skin was hot and sweating.

"Sam! Buddy…Sam…hey just calm down…it's ok…I'm getting help!" Spike was trying to calm his friend while frantically pushing the call button the side of the bed. And that's when he realized that the coughing fit he thought Sam was having was actually more like unsuccessful gasp for air.

Spike had seen dead fear in Sam's eyes. He could only imagine what was going through his mind at the moment. But then as people started running into the room, Sam's eye's rolled into the back of his head as he started to shake.

. . . . . . . . .

_Aaahhh cliffhanger!_

_Finally a chapter that went mostly the way I planned! So what did yah think? Aaww Sam could never blame Spike. What did you think of Ed's tough love approach? I really wanted to make him sound like a hard ass, but all in the nature of trying to help Sam. _


	8. Chapter 8

aaannnnddd enjoy!

Sam woke up in the middle of the night and just felt like something was wrong. He didn't know how he could feel more wrong than before but he did. Even with him becoming use to the constant feel of being hot from the fever, but this new heat felt like his insiders were melting. It hurt just to open his eyes, his short hair was matted to his sweating face. But then it finally sunk into his delirious brain, the distressing thing that awoke him was the fact he couldn't breathe. And it wasn't the hard to work for every breath like before, but he actually could not breathe.

The harder he tried the more he panicked. He laid there alone in terror, unable to call for help or knock something over. Nothing, he could do nothing, he was all alone. He kept screaming for God to just put him out of his misery over and over again in his head.

Just as darkness started to creep into his vision Spike stood over him. Sam could see his lips moving but hear nothing other than the blood rushing into his ears. 

**_flashpoint_**

Spike had been kicked out of the room just Sam started to have a seizure. He had been walking up and down the hallway unsure of what to do while he watched medical personnel run in and out of Sam's room. He looked at his watch and read that it was about four in the morning. He had to tell someone what was happening.

"…mmm Parker."

"Greg?" Parker was immediately sitting up in his bed rubbing the sand from his eyes. Rarely ever did he ever hear Spikes voice shake like that.

"Spike! Spike what is it?"

"He…Sam…I don't know boss. I just woke up and he…he wasn't breathing…" Then Spike heard a shout from inside the room.

"Get the crash cart over here, we're losing him!"

Spike found a chair to sit in before he collapsed on the floor, this was all happening too fast. "Boss…he's dying…"

"Ok Spike, alright. Just hang on, I'm on my way over there." After Greg hung up he made his way clumsily over his dark room to the light switch. Quickly grabbing something semi decent to wear and threw it on. Running out to the car he started to dial the rest of the team. 

**_flashpoint_**

_Sam was standing in an all white room that was completely empty. The only thing that he felt was like he was on fire. Chuckling he thought to himself, 'well I guess all my ex's were right…I went to hell.' He just stood there, not really sure on how much time was passing. That's when he saw someone walking towards him. _

'_Hello?' But no answer. The stranger just kept walking closer until he came to stand about five feet from him. 'Matt?'_

_His buddy just smiled at him._

'_So I guess if I'm seeing you then I'm dead.'_

'_No, I'm not letting you off that easy Braddock. For lack of a better term we'll just say you are at a cross roads. And as cheesy as it sounds you can either take the easy way or the hard way.'_

'_Well you know me, when have I ever taken the easy way.' But then Sam's smirk died along with the sarcasm, 'but I don't know if I can do the hard way anymore.'_

_Matt just scowled at him, 'after everything you've gone through in life why start giving up now?'_

"_Matt! For crying out loud, why can't anyone understand that I've been in so much pain.' Sam felt weird letting that blurt out, ever since he woke up in the hospital he had been trying his hardest to keep that from all his friends. He didn't want them to put blame on themselves or feel sorry for him anymore…especially Spike, he just wanted to be left in peace. 'Matt, it's been really bad. And this isn't something that will go away with time. It's going to be a constant thing I will carry with me forever, a constant reminder of what is holding me back. I really have been trying to stick it out, but buddy I can't do it anymore.'_

'_Have you? Sam I know you, and if it meant saving someone's life than you would stick through the worse pain if that meant the other could live.'_

'_What the hell are you talking about? Of course I would, but this is me we're talking about.'_

'_Are we?'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_What do you think happens to those around you if you give up now?'_

'_Wha…ah…I don't know. I mean I guess they'd be sad, but they'd get over it. I mean there's always a risk when we go out we aren't coming back.'_

'_You mean a lot to those people. More than I think you give yourself credit for.'_

'_We all gotta go sometime.'_

'_Is that what you've told yourself to get through life so far?'_

_Sam just pauses, takes a deep breath but doesn't answer._

'_After your sister died, what got you through that?'_

'_Natalie, she needed to be protected. I finally realized why someone could risk their life for a stranger.'_

'_And after me and all the hell we saw over there…what then?'_

'_It took a lot of nights for me to finally put down that gun and not do it.'_

'_And…what stopped you?'_

'_Cause I knew I wasn't that kind of person. That I could find a place to use my faults as strengths.'_

'_And…'_

'_And I found the SRU. My team. Seeing that most of life that is in a shade of grey. No one's life is easy. We get called to the worst day of a person's life, and I can help people through it.' Sam just looked down to the floor, 'but that's over for me now.'_

'_How's that?'_

'_These injuries, even when my skin heals my lungs won't be the same. There's no way I could go back on the team.'_

'_Maybe, but since when has not doing a job worth giving up and dying?'_

'_Cause I can't be me anymore!' Sam shouted hysterically. _

'_You really think that? Think back to what you just said. In all your lowest points in life you found a way to adapt and overcome that, and it led you to a better thing.'_

_Sam just stood there, Matt was right, giving into the easy way just wasn't him.'_

'_And you said you would deal with anything if it meant saving others…shouldering their pain.'_

'_Yah of course.' Stated Sam nonchalantly _

'_Well, what about your team?'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_Jules. Are you really prepared to break her heart and leave the thought of regret of the fact that you guys never put love first. You could be with her now." _

_. . . . . . _

Jules sat there in the waiting room with her head down silently praying for any type of a miracle. She loved Sam with all her heart. She wanted to experience new things with him…grow old with him. She just prayed she could still have that chance.

. . . . . . . .

'_And Natalie, you see how much trouble she gets into and that's _with_ you still around.' Sam chuckled at that statement. _

_. . . . . . . _

Natalie sat there trying to strike a deal with God. That if he let Sam live than she would go to church every week, volunteer, never drink again, stop hanging with the wrong crowd…and on and on. Anything she could think of she was rambling it off in her head. Looking around at the worried faces of the team she realized that while Sam and her grew up in a family where emotions were often pushed way and all that mattered was behaving and never making their father mad. This family rallied and was always there for one another, no matter what.

. . . . . . .

'_What about Parker and Ed? Both are leaders, and you of all people should know the way it makes you feel when you lose someone under your command. You had guilt about me, you don't think they won't be playing the 'what if' games in their minds. Greg's been doing his best to deal with that stress day after day and not turn back to the bottle.' _

_. . . . . .. _

Greg cautiously met up and talked with one Sam's nurses to try and find out what was going on. She told him that Sam's heart stopped a couple of times and now he was on a ventilator. The seizure had been caused by the lack of oxygen and/or the extremely high fever. And that the doctor was waiting on some test results to figure out exactly what was happening to him.

. . . . . . . .

'_And Ed, he almost lost his family for the job. The last thing you guys did was argue, don't you think he's gonna feel more guilt because of that?'_

_. . . . . . . _

Ed stood there lost in his thoughts about the whole mess. Yes Sam had continually been sick this whole time, but he didn't take a turn for the worse until after he yelled at him. What if he brought all this on? But not only that what if the last thing he said to Sam were all those harsh things.

. . . . . . .

'_And then there's good ol' Spike. Even though he was helping your sister and had nothing to do with this he's really close to losing it. Just think about what he's been through these past couple of years. Lou, his family and the job, his dad, Raf…and now you. He needs you to show him how to get through it. If you can't find a reason for your own flesh and blood family…then do it for the ones you chose, and who chose you.'_

. . . . . . .

Spike thought about what went wrong and that maybe if he didn't fall asleep he could have gotten Sam help faster. Why was he always just too late to help anyone? Doctor Malloy came out and talked to them a few hours later saying things like 'Sepsis shock-major complication with ICU patients…respiratory distress…organ failure…very sick…high antibiotics…next 2-3 days are critical.'

. . . . . .

_Sam nods and gives matt a smirk. He understands why he'd go on to fight and live. And by showing his strength he would help others. And by seeing his loved ones happy…that would continue to get him through another day. 'You know just now, if I didn't know you any better I would say you were actually smart.'_

_Sam liked being able to see his friend laugh again. He missed him and it was going to be hard to say goodbye again. Straightening up Sam lifted his arm up and saluted Matt. 'I guess I'll see you later than.'_

_Returning the salute Matt commented 'yah make it much later…it's been nice not having to stare at the ugly face of yours.'_

_Sam laughs at Matt's final remark before he disappears. 'Alright…here goes the hard road. But nothing worthwhile should ever be easy.'_

**_flashpoint_**

So how did you like this chapter? Don't forget to review! I love reading what you all think! And I chose Matt as Sams buddy he killed…I think I remember something about how the show goofed up and said it was Ben and Matt.


	9. Chapter 9

_Wow guys sorry about the long wait. I go from updating a couple times a week to nothing for like a month. Sorry had finals, graduation and now on the job search (fingers crossed)_

_And to quote my fav show. Any monkey can poop out and idea, but finishing it is the hard part. (guesses to if you know what show that came from ;) )_

**_flashpoint_**

Spike made his way behind the long line of new cadets laying on the long range sniper course. He tried to make it out there at least once a week to check up on the newest instructor.

"Samtastic!" Greeted Spike with a pat on Sam's back.

"Really Spike, still with that Samtastic stuff?" Laughed Sam.

"What can I say, you're just that awesome!"

"Ah huh," smirked Sam. He really enjoyed the stops Spike would make. Sometimes it would just be five minutes on his way to work or going out for lunch. And it wasn't just Spike, he would go visit and get visits from the rest of the team.

After many months of therapy Sam was finally cleared to come back to work, but in a different capacity. He was thankful for Ed and the department trying to work things out and find a place for him. It had been just over a year since that day. And while he was good most days, there were those few when he would get frustrated with his new limitations.

"So are you influencing these young minds with your infinite wisdom?" Joked Spike.

"Oh you know it." Then turning he shouted to the cadets to move to the next target further down the field. "So does the rest of the team know what's going on tonight?"

"Do you really think I would fail on my pre-best man duties already? Yes, the rest of the guys know to meet up at the restaurant tonight. We are going to meet up and then proceed stealthily through the rear and wait for your signal." And on that note Spike gave same a mocking salute with his classic Spike grin.

"Well you better not screw up running lead," joked Sam. Looking around to make sure the coast was clear Sam pulled the ring from his pocket. It might have been weird bringing the engagement ring in his pocket on a sniper range, but he didn't trust it anywhere else. "So, what do yah think?"

"Wow Sam I'm flattered and all, but I don't swing that way."

"Hardy har har Spike!"

"Really Sam, she'll love it."

"I hope she will," stated Sam all earnestly. Sam had it planned out. He was taking Jules to a nice dinner and was then going to pop the question. He had told Spike that he thought the time was finally perfect and that it would be a good idea to have the team there as well since they were all basically family. He knew that especially having Parker there for Jules would really mean a lot to her since she basically considered him like a father.

"Alright well I best be getting off to work now, but I'll seeing yah tonight buddy." Quipped Spike as he ruffled Sam's blond hair. 

**_flashpoint_**

"Oh my goodness! Come here I wanna hold her!" Said Spike gleefully as Jules and Sam walked through the front doors of HQ. Jules handed over her little girl as Spike called the rest of the team over. They had all seen her a few times before but not for the last month as they had been in Vancouver visiting with Sam's family while Jules was on maternity leave.

"Aaww hello there little Rachel." Jules had asked Sam if it would be ok to name her after his late sister. And Sam loved the idea.

"Where's Greg?" asked Jules.

"Uh, I think he's still on a call in the other room." Answered Ed. Just then Parker walked out towards the group. "Hey man, whats up?"

"I just got a call from the U.S Marshals. Apparently while running leads to find a fugitive they were after they ran into those two guys that planted the C-4. I guess they somehow made it over the border and hiding out it in Montana. Since they don't have the guys on any crimes out there, the Marshals are extraditing them here tomorrow."

Everyone just look from one to the other. It had been a cloud that hovered over all of them ever since that day, a constant thing in the back of their minds that nagged at them. Of all the criminals to get away from them, it was the ones that forever changed the face of team one. Now they would have to deal with a trail, but they would do it together as a team.

The End 

**_flashpoint_**

_So? What do you think? I bet you some of you forgot that those two got away. Huh? Well there it is. I know it was kind of a rushed ending but we saw Sam's ok, they are married and have a kid. plus the two guys got caught ;) Now I hope to have the next chapter for my other story 'I'll get us through this' later this week. _

_Thanks again for all reviews, alerts and favs! And hoped you enjoyed it!_


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